Anyone want to buy some couches?

So I'm selling my couches on craigslist so, you know, I can eat. I would just put those hoes up in exchange for food. The ad would read:

Both couches are very comfortable. No stains or scratches.
Willing to exchange them for Mac- n- cheese

But, I need to pay some other bills.

Jersey Shore

WTF!!! Little tan people are supposed to be cradled and feed Boones farm in a bottle, not punched out. Shame on you meat head guido. Seriously, this guy needs an ass kicking.

Is it just me...

Or has the year just flew by. No shit I'm wondering what the fuck happened. I mean I'm 22 now.I still feel 18 and not in a "I'm still a kid at heart" kind of way, its more of a "what the fuck have I accomplished since highschool" kind of way. And to answer the above question, uhh I moving back in with my mom. So things have been less than productive lately, but I'm working on bringing that back into my life. I wont have to pay rent in the next 4 months, so I can finally pay my bills (credit card companies are hounding me). I'm going to start volunteering again, letting my givingness shine bright.Oh, and I got one more semester till I go to a university. So things better start looking greener$ will soon or I'll be forced into drug trafficking, beacuse thats my only other option at this point.

crybaby

This year has been really bad, financially. My brokness gets me so down sometimes that I cry, like out of nowhere. I've always been quite dramatic, but this year alone it's gotten out of hand. Just the other day I cried, AT WORK, IN FRONT OF MY BOSS oh the humiliation. Even though I'm dramatic I seem to only vomit it out to my immediate family, and my boyfriend ( who can only take so much). Now I've never been Gucci rich but now I'm not even Forever 21 rich, bummer. I use to splurge on Bakers shoes weekly, now I'm splurging on....um headaches. I'm envious of those who like me don't have much, but can still manage to party it up at the clubs every weekend while saying "fuck the bills this month, I'm going to party". I Can't just say "oh yea fuck the rent" and take the chance of fucking up my rental history, I'm only 21 its too early to fuck up that much. My credit is slowly but surely getting fucked up, and that depresses me. I remember when I first started establishing my credit, the pride I took in making my monthly payments ON TIME without a sweat. Now I just cry when I look at my bill for the month. I know I'm not the only person going through this, I just don't know how to handle it without isolating myself and crying every time the mail comes.

Awwww, childhood memories

When I was a little one in elementry I would always pick out two books : Goosebumps and Berenstain Bears. I loved going to the library just to grab these books over and over again. They were like crack and I always needed my fix, oh how badly i wanted to live in a tree. Well now It's coming to the big screen, like everyother child story. You know whats weird, I was just thinking of this very thing to myself weeks ago ( I get really bored at work) I should totally get recognition for this movie. Anyway, heres the link ...
http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2009-11-03-Berenstainbears03_ST_N.htm?csp=34

Stupid questions of the year....so far.

"Are Puerto Ricans considered Mexican?"

"Do you speak English?"

"Can I pay with pesos?" ( just because this is a Mexican type market does not mean we've suddenly entered Mexico, damn)

"Do you work here?" ( While I have staff printed on the front of my shirt, back, and apron.)

"But the sign says 14.99, so why are you charging me 16.21?"

"Do you sell vanilla extract?" (I work in a t-shirt store)

These are just some of the dumb ass questions I'm forced to put up with on a REGULAR basis. These just stand out above all the rest.

Fuck, It's been forever sense I've written. Anyway, I' m tipsy and watching 90's music videos on YouTube ( fuck I'm old). Not really I'm only 21,but can you believe it's been 11 yrs since Matchbox 20 released "Real World", oh and excuse the typos in this blog, again I'm tipsy haha. I soooo was obsessed with them, Rob Thomas was sooo cool. I was actually more obsessed with the Spice girls, my sis knows haha. I loved them like I loved Hot CheetosOh yea I put the old school pic of them hoes up!!! I still heart them. Oh , Jessica don't think I forgot about you fucking up my spice girls cassette. Even if you have.

I have a problem

I'm really late on loving "Jon & Kate plus 8". Seriously, I sit in front of the computer watching old and new episodes of it, all night. I read a lot of celebrity news so I couldn't help but watch this marriage fall completely apart plus the kids are adorable. I do feel sad watching this...

Fuck, Kate was soooo adorable. What happened? I guess fame does that to a person, because she is completely different. Oh yeah, having 8 fucking kids does that to a person. In my opinion they both equally fucked up this marriage. Jon, with his sleazy affair and Kate with her bossy attitude. I'll admit it, I bitch everyday, but I would never embarrass Ray in public. I do think they need this separation. How can you be with someone whose overly bossy or cheats on you? Unacceptable. Remember, this is just an opinion and I don't know how it feels to have 8 kids.

It's been awhile...

So its been awhile since I've written anything, I know I suck. I have been going through a lot of personal things lately and I just couldn't get my head together. I don't want to get into the details of it all, but I have to make difficult decisions in my life, no matter how much they hurt in the end. I have to believe I made the right choice. No matter how unpopular or selfish my decision may seem, It's not. I'm also getting ready to move out on my own, scary. I love Ray more than anything, I just need to gain the experience of living on my own. Ray and I will continue our relationship. Even through it's going to be difficult not living together, I believe the living separation will only strengthen our bond.

Zack!!!!!!!

Wow! I use to love Saved by the Bell and I for one am tuning into the "class" reunion. Lets leave screech at home,he's such a douche now.

"Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw"

A Heathers sequel, really? I loved Heathers, my sis and I use to watch it religiously but I don't know how I feel about this. Winona Ryder, who confirmed the sequel had this to say " Christian Slater has agreed to come back as a kind of Obi- Wan character". When I read that I had no idea what the fuck that meant. My boyfriend was kind enough to inform me, along with a " are you that stupid" expression on his face. I will definitely watch it, but I'm not thrilled about it.Yet.

Things I wish I could afford...

So these are from Fergie,they are gorgeous. I'm going to start selling Barbecue plates to help me buy these. At Heels.com they are priced at $98.00, which is what I usually pay for heels anyway,but I cant afford them right now. Hell I cant even pay eight bucks. So, would anyone like to buy a barbecue plate?

Dumb ass of the day...

As a sales person I witness a lot of dumb asses everyday;which can lead to me to believe that some people should not be allowed to leave the house. Seriously, I cant even count the number of tourist who ask If they can use pesos. So this is a new post I will be doing almost everyday (maybe even twice a day) and it will include customers who are rude and stupid.

I am at the cash register checking out a customer. She hands me her bank card.

Me

Debit?(we have to ask this because some people do not know the pin for it)

Customer

Credit

Me

Can I see your Id please

customer

(pissed )

uhhh this is stupid

Me

What is?

customer

That I have to get my Id. It's debit too.

Me

Did you not tell me credit? I didn't know that meant debit, I will try to read your mind the next time.

Customer

Well It's stupid to ask for Id

Me

Like I said I will try to read your mind next time. And If you happen to lose your card today and someone else finds it and tries to use it here, I will be happy to not check for ID. Thank you bye.

The customer rolls her eyes and walks out.

I have not yet learned the art of keeping my mouth shut when the customer is a complete ass. How can I if they call my actions stupid, please tell me?

I Am now officially deppressed...

Today I decided to finish my photo album I started, like a year ago. What do I find? Skinny pictures of myself. It must be noted while I am typing this I am indulging in chocolate cake. No wonder I've gained about an x amount of weight since I've moved in with my boyfriend. He ruined my once thin figure and now it's just thighs, thighs, THIGHS...oh the horror!!!!!! But he has the, "no babe those jeans don't make you look fat" line down like a pro. I swear everyday while killing a bag of Hot Cheetos's ( my fat vice) I say, "starting tomorrow no more of this shit" hahah I am not kidding. I mean I don't hate my body and I love my new found curves, but this cant be good in the long run. My boss makes it a point everyday to say "oh I remember when you use to have a good figure" what a bitch!!! It's all good, my pinkie has more curves than that tooth pick HA. I like to say she's just jealous and wishes she could have pair of actual boobs. Any who I leave you with Richard Simmons hahah

Laurie, do you remember when Luis, you, and I actually tried to work out to this.

Top 5 Reasons why I hate the summer....

5. My Fashion style is much more suited for winter.
I've never been big on showing off my shoulders or wearing shorts. I have never, and will never look good in shorts. But this summer I've had more of an opened mind, so it has been fun looking for new and interesting clothing that I never thought I would wear.
4. The market I work in now closes at 8
Uhhh how I hate to deal with annoying tourists for 2 more hours than usual. Having to hear "Do you work here" while I have staff printed on my clothing in 5 different areas, walking around with the note pad, behind the register, and after I asked If you needed help. I also hate when they act like a snob towards me while they are wearing crocks, odd.
3. The Texas heat
The other day I felt as if I was going to die within the 5 minutes I was outside, in the car, while the air conditioner was on. I don't care If I lived here all my life I will never get use to the heat. And fuck trying to look cute for the day while sweat is coming out of everywhere.
2. Being broke
Well I'm always broke, but it's especially more depressing during the summer time. While everyone is out on vacation I'm stuck at home counting pennies; all the while looking at other people on myspace having fun at the beach. Those bitches!!!
1. Perhaps the most depressing: All my favorite network shows are on break.
I'm totally going through Lost withdraws. I don't care what you hoes say It's amazing. Yeah, It gets confusing and you have to have an incredible memory, because someone or something will bust out from season fucking 2. I will now leave you with my favorite moment form Lost...

AHHHHHH

Why is tie-dye becoming fashionable again. ( As if it ever was) I think of it ass the crocks of yesterday. But It is everywhere again, celebrity's and designers alike are accepting it. Thankfully it's not so in your face but more so dare I say it, cute.
Alright the above dress isn't my exact example of cute but this is more like it.....
I bought this last month, I know I'm such a hypocrite. Oh well!!!!!

Apartment search

So, today I am going to look at an apartment, I hope it does not suck. Supposedly it has a walk-in-closet so that is a huge plus, I have soooooooo many clothes and heels. I have never done this, Ray already lived in the apartment before I hurdled in so I just signed a lease. But, this is my first apartment by myself and it just seems like so much. I need to do this so I can learn to be completely independent, moving in my own apartment seems like a good step to take. So wish me luck!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Why?.... Why, must Idol always fuck me over? First It was Bo, then Melinda, and now my disco queen Adam. I Mean Kris was always my second favorite, he put up an amazing fight till the end, but I so looooooove Adam. I was for sure Adam had it but this shit surprised the fuck out of me, shit it surprised the fuck out of Kris. Well at least it wasn't Danny Gokey. Anyway, I'm sooo happy Idol has regained my attention again. Lets talk about the finale for a min, did you see Allison's crotch shot? Ewwwwwwwww, what the hell was going on there? I'll admit I hit the fast forward button through some of the boring shit, almost all of it. I did love Kara's performance though, highlight of the night! It excused her from that hideous song she co-wrote. All in all I'm happy but soooooo not happy with the result. Does that make sense?

This is not working

I pose exactly the same in every picture I take....






Have I not learned anything from "Americas Next Top Model". I really need a new pose, any suggestions? Because, this just isn't working.

Gym Rat

Earlier in the week I was really motivated to workout. I told myself over and over, "That's it I'm over being chubby". Well ask me how my workouts are going?.........I refuse to give in to the pressure of conforming to society's image of "beauty". That's the excuse I plan to use for a while.

"Bubbles, Bubbles, dumb ass Bubbles"?

VH1 TV Shows | Music Videos | Celebrity Photos | News & Gossip

Bubbles schooled those trash talkers by explaining what global warming is, none of those hoes knew what it was . Yeah she sounded like a 5 yr old, but she knew what she was talking about. And they still had the nerve to look at her as if she was slow, but they're just jealous. Genius Bubbles lasted for about 5 sec because she then went on to explain that, people who take baths in the river are happy. Dumb ass Bubbles is back!

Things I wish I could afford

This beauty is from Betsey Johnson, zippers(which are on everything this season) and all. I don't even want to know the price,I just want to stare and salivate.

Shoedazzle

A couple of months ago i signed up at ShoeDazzle.com, the one that Kim Kardashian promotes. They give you a list of questions thentheir team of stylist choose shoes for you, each month. It's pretty neat actually because you sign up for free and your not obligated to actually buy the shoes. Plus, free shipping!!! I have yet to order anything but I did like these...

I'm still worried about the quality of the shoe, but for $39 it's worth a try.

Attention all pedestrians

On Wed May 20th we urge everyone to stay indoors....
Why? Because I'm learning how to drive!Yes, I'm 21 and still don't know which one is the break pedal HA. My mom still refuses to learn and my 24 year old (i think) sister just learned; we were/are avid "come pick my ass up" people.. Anyways, I need to do this especially since I want to be all independent and shit.I'm so sick and tired of taking the bus where people talk to themselves, even if it is amusing.

Security Douche

So we got a new "security" guard in the market today....uhhhh he makes me want to throw up in my mouth. He's the geezer who got beat up everyday in high school and never got over it. Every time I turned around he was all up in my face along with lame jokes, claiming this is how he makes "friends". Even one of our customers called him out on his lame attempt of flirting, it even went so far as for him to put his hand on his gun(the one that actually works), who the fuck does that. He picked up on me ignoring him so he totally went all "I'm a security guard so you must follow my orders" bullshit. Hopefully I'm not alone in wanting to punch him in the face so someone else can pull his shorts over his head.So my day was filled with hiding and pretending to be busy until I got to leave that dump, with no late night assholes to stop me. Then Ray came home after his trip to El Paso and made my day better!

Dear, Late Night Assholes

Go the fuck home because I know I want to, instead I'm having to deal with annoying bitches like you all. Quit asking me if we are closed, while I'm counting out the register and already barricaded the doors. Don't give me sad face outside the windows while repeating over and over "But I came all the way from Canada", I don't care. And occasionally while in a good mood I'll let you shop after hours, don't walk around the store and take your sweet fucking time choosing a shirt. Just a friendly reminder, when the gate is closed with a lock chances are the store is CLOSED.
Sincerely,
An annoyed sales associate

Google bar addicted

Every now and then I put meaningless shit in the Google bar to see what pops up, I know I'm stupid. Anyways, I continued to enter gorgeous shoes in the images section and this bitch popped up...

UHHHHH she is everywhere, alright I'll admit it I like her songs, for 5 min, but she is getting a little ridiculous. I think my announce for her started with this

And lets not forget this "gem"
For once I'd like to see her on a red carpet looking like she can rests her arms or at least breath.
Alright thats enough Google tool bar for one night.

Do cheap apartments exists?

What the fuck do I have to do to find a affordable apartment? Have actual money? I'm a student with a minimum wage job who cannot find a decent apartment, HELP! I look, and look, with only one apt. that has captured my interests, a box. It' s about the size of my thumb, a 267 Sq ft efficiency, amazing. My entire Lucille Ball collection alone will eat up all the space and where the hell am I going to put my shoes? But It will have to do besides the box will be all mine :) SCREW THAT, I'm going to suffocate AHHHHHHHH. Alright enough of that, sorry for my busts of screams aka caps lock. The shit hole will have to do.

My new favorite youtube channel....

I discovered Garfunkel And Oats when I visited Wellhonestlynow.com (if you have not read this site, go now!). Anyways they are hilarious, incredibly talented, and soooo cute.

I do not look good in glasses.

I look like such a dork, but not many people read here so, whatever.



When my sister and I where little my dad brought us both glasses to match his, yes we looked liked dumb asses but we did not care. That my friends was the only time it was acceptable for me to where glasses, ever. Seriously I look like such a douche in glasses, but I thought I'd give them a try for the millionth time.

3 more days!!!!

And this wonderful piece of slutty trash will have me fixated for weeks. Charm School 3 premiers this Sunday and I couldn't be anymore excited!! I know, I need to get a life but I can't help it, I'm addicted to reality television. Plus Ricki fucking Lake is the host, and next year I'm hoping Jenny Jones will take over. My boyfriend use to hate these shows but I quickly fixed that, oh and "somebody push my ass" quickly got his attention. But his heart belongs to ....

HAHA, no not Frenchie! Seriously when Miami won he was so upset, as he banged his fists against the floor and repeatedly said over and over "I can't believe that bitch won". He was rooting for Tailor Made. I for one wanted prancer to win, but still enjoyed laughing at Ray's disappointment.

FINALS ARE OVER!!!!!! Damn, guys I've been studying my ass off this week to pass this semester, since I've been slacking up until now. So I'm ready to do my happy dance and drink wine till I pass out tonight.

It's been awhile since my last post so I felt obligated to chime in. My life has been really stressfully lately, with school and other things. I'm just trying to get passed hell week aka FINALS! Seriously, I cant stand devoting all my time to studying, even if it does pay off in the end. I become a zombie in my own apartment surrounded by a million papers and hand made flash cards. It's odd throughout high school It was a miracle when I'd study, yet I passed every time. I CANT DO THAT IN COLLEGE UGHHH! Every semester my main goal is to become more organized, uh I've been in college now since 2006, and still cant bundle my papers into a damn folder.

I love lucy...

As The title states I Love Lucy, mainly Lucille Ball. I've been collecting since forever now, and am impressed with my collection. During my high school and early college years, is were I collected the most. I use to have this ritual where every time I walked into a memorabilia store I would walk out with three items. Of coarse I cant do that anymore because I have real bills now, but I buy whenever I can.

Things I actually can afford.....

I completely fell in love with this dress form Modcloth.com, but I have a couple of problems with it. I'm not sure if I can completely trust this site, every time I order something online with the exception of Victoria Secret I get screwed over. Another problem is sizing, they don't represent circumference and I need circumference! And yes I can grab a dress out of my closet, measure it, then compare it to the size chart but I don't feel like it. But I probably will end up getting it because folks, I never learn.

Things I wish I could afford....

These beauties I found while looking through the Neiman Marcus website, I know I like to tease myself. But it was love at first sight and I'm seriously thinking about starving myself just to afford these $995 Christian Louboutin sandals, that should take about 5 yrs.

Long day at work, had to fold sooo many shirts. But all is well thanks to......

I still love looking at these pictures...but anyways.... Adam Lambert was beyond brilliant. Lets be honest everyone needs to pack there bags and go the fuck home because no one is as good as my
Disco queen Adam. And LiL rounds needs to be the one sent home, like 5 weeks ago.

DAMN

Woke up today 45 min before my class started and realized I had 2 assignments due today. I had done, none.

Things I wish I could afford.....

Readers, meet One Of Elie Saab's gorgeous creation's from his Fall 2009 collection

FAST = Family and Schools Together

I just got back from volunteering with the FAST program and only 4 more weeks to go. Anyone who knows me knows I’m not the greatest with kids, they kind of annoy me. I have yet to open up with any of the kids, which sucks because I am there to help them not look at them and wish they would go talk to someone else, sorry. When my boyfriend and I babysit my nephews, I take two Benadryl’s and crash, while he builds a “fort” for them, but they are the only kids I can stand. My boyfriend and I had the kid talk and I say “no” while he says “yes”, but we will cross that line some other time, that should be fun. Seriously, I at least want one of those kids to know my damn name by the end of the program. And the parents, most of them only know Spanish. DAMN. Which is my other goal, learn Spanish, I’m tired of the “your Hispanic and don’t know any Spanish” line. Usually I roll my eyes and whisper to myself “get over it” but this isn’t work I’m volunteering, and I do feel like I’m doing them a disservice.

Meeting Me

Hmmmm what can I write about myself…..truthfully I got nothing right now. It’s 12:29 A.M. and yes I can do this another time when I have fresh ideas, but I won’t. Anyways, my name is April and no my birthday is not in April. I guess my mom just looked at a calendar when they asked her for my name, haha you know its true mom. I’m attending college and I work at a T-shirt store, yeah not exactly my dream job but hey I got to pay bills somehow. I will be writing a lot about work on here because I think my boyfriend, family, and friends have heard enough of my bitching. My boyfriend once told me I sounded like Al Bundy and instead of “A fat women came in today…” I say “A stupid tourist came in today…” and then you can’t shut me up. I loooove fashion and Lucille ball, and usually shop way out of my means. I’m a true pessimist with really bad luck; which is why I would never gamble or bungee jump. Well that’s enough for now.