crybaby

This year has been really bad, financially. My brokness gets me so down sometimes that I cry, like out of nowhere. I've always been quite dramatic, but this year alone it's gotten out of hand. Just the other day I cried, AT WORK, IN FRONT OF MY BOSS oh the humiliation. Even though I'm dramatic I seem to only vomit it out to my immediate family, and my boyfriend ( who can only take so much). Now I've never been Gucci rich but now I'm not even Forever 21 rich, bummer. I use to splurge on Bakers shoes weekly, now I'm splurging on....um headaches. I'm envious of those who like me don't have much, but can still manage to party it up at the clubs every weekend while saying "fuck the bills this month, I'm going to party". I Can't just say "oh yea fuck the rent" and take the chance of fucking up my rental history, I'm only 21 its too early to fuck up that much. My credit is slowly but surely getting fucked up, and that depresses me. I remember when I first started establishing my credit, the pride I took in making my monthly payments ON TIME without a sweat. Now I just cry when I look at my bill for the month. I know I'm not the only person going through this, I just don't know how to handle it without isolating myself and crying every time the mail comes.